I, along withdozens of other internet pundits, have been harping on Facebook for a few weeks now.  Each new update to the platform offers a range of privacy concerns and other hoo-hah that lead to lot’s of digital ink being spilled about everything from “How to Turn Your Facebook Back To What It Was Before” to “How To Opt-Out of the New Changes” and my personal favorite: “What It All Means” (in particular, this heartfelt and intelligent self-discussion by @seanbonner.

I’ve been doing some hand-wringing about whether or not to delete my Facebook profile.  Not that I’m a particularly private person, but Facebook began as one thing and has slowly shifted into another.  I don’t want to begrudge them their need to make money off the thing they created, nor the 400 brazillian people who use their service for free and can you imagine the  bitching if Facebook instituted a $9.95 yearly fee to use it?  The fact of the matter is, Facebook can do whatever the hell it wants to with the people on their site and the only thing that’s going to hold them in check is the behavior of their users.  So I can whinge and wax poetic about my precious precious privacy all I want…i’m free to leave at any time (supposedly).

But this begs a bigger question:  Regardless of what facebook is DOING, what should facebook be SAYING?  CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s comments have basically amounted to him shouting “Tough Titty, Sad Kitty” while lying on top of a giant pile of money and that’s not really helped anything has it?

Conventional wisdom states it’s not good to freak out your customers.  Facebook’s response to privacy complaints has been…less nuanced.  It’s as though Toyota, upon learning of people’s fears of the brakes in their Prius going out, had simply stated “well it’s not like you really WANT to stop your car is it?  You’re just doing it because you think you need to.”

So, in advance of Facebook’s next big announcement, I put the challenge out to all the marketing and PR geniuses that found their way here (or were lured here with promises of free cookies).  What should facebook’s public line be?  Are they right to say “Privacy is dead”, and by implication: get used to it?  Just a fun little exercise.  Come up with some talking points for Facebook. How can they stop freaking out their users?  Can they accentuate the positive? Do they need their services to be Opt-in?  What’s their message and how has it gone awry?

Update: Some private IM’s from Zuckerberg have made the case worse.