or…SEO for dummies

I like technology.  I also quite like my wife.  Far be it from me to have to pick between the two.

But I’m always curious, whenever we talk about Ad Words and Optimization and Personalized Marketing…how well does Google really know me? So I’ve devised a little experiment.  It’s a quick Q and A, using my 1.5 gigs of email stored and scraped on Google’s servers, versus my wife, who has known me for going on 5 years, and puts up with my crap on a regular basis.

What follows is highly unscientific.  I’m asking my wife a few questions, and asking the same of google and seeing who comes up with a better suggestion for me.

Music

Google – Ads for:

Pandora highlighting Carole King.  While I often find myself singing “Natural Woman“, I can’t count myself among Ms King’s fanboys.  Google-Fail

“Learn the Sounds of LA Zydeco Music!” Half credit for knowing I like outside the box tunes, but points docked for not being local Zydeco.  I’m not looking to take a tour for God’s sake.

Lori: “The Hives.  I mean, but I don’t know…I don’t think I have any music that you don’t know.  What is this for?”

Score: Full marks for Lori for recommending one of the greatest bands I’ve ever seen.  Seriously.  The Hives.  Catch them.

Movies:

Google – ads for:

Netflix:  Look Google, if you’ve been reading my emails like you’re supposed to, you’d know I don’t have a DVD player, and hate watching movies at home.

Fandango, with the film “The Crazies” highlighted: Full marks.  I like me some horror, though you might have noticed the Fandango receipt for “The Crazies” and guessed I’d seen it already.  Still, I’m picking nits here.  Bravo.

Lori: “I don’t know…look up showtimes.  What’s playing?  No I won’t go see that scary movie with you.  Why don’t you call Tim?  Is The Goonies playing at the Brew and View?”

Score: While I liked The Crazie’s well enough,  this round’s got to go to Lori.  While Google scores with a lower 3rd ad on the trailer for “The Crazies” for popcorn, Lori added the friend suggestion.  If Google had said “Why don’t you go see Paranormal Activity…you should call Tim!” I would’ve freaked out and high-fived the internet.

Dinner Plans

Google – Ads for:

Alaska Airlines:  Seriously?  What?  Are they suggesting Airline food?  Or fresh salmon?  Also, I hate flying.  Do your homework Google!
Groupon suggestion:  While, again, I imagine you’ve seen the groupon emails I’ve been getting…so I’ve already swallowed that kool-aid.  Half points here?

Portland’s Best Magician: Okay, another WTF, but well played.  I. Love. Magic.  And not that creepy David Blaine/Criss Angel goth malarky.  Give me a dude in a crappy tux pulling coins out from behind my ear and I’ll be giggling like a school girl and clapping like a baby at a toy piano.

Lori-

“I’m not really hungry.  I had a Klondike bar earlier.  I think we have some hummus in the fridge.  Didn’t you just eat?”

Score: Sorry Lori…Google’s got this one.  Despite the WTF-ness of the Alaska Airlines suggestion, I’m really looking forward to that magician.

Conclusions

The personal nature of suggestions adds a lot to customization.  Still, I first tried to do this with Facebook, thinking that site might have some more accurate suggestions given my friends activities.  It was…to put it lightly, embarassing.  Looking for suggestions for movies yielded ads for abdominal exercises, a dating site, and some Farmville clone.  This leads me to conclude that I (and my friends) are single, beer-bellied loners who spend a lot of time playing casual MMORPG’s.  If anything, Facebook should know I’m a whiskey man…oh, and married.